Today Is Our Day: this is me

Thursday, March 31, 2016

Seasons of Life

Oh, hello Blog! Long time, no see!

There are two main reasons for my absence:

1. I’ve been having a love affair with Instagram. Unfortunately for you, I think he will be sticking around for a while.
For this season of my life, it is just more convenient. But don’t worry, I’ll still visit on occasion.

2. I have actually had this post written since February, but for some reason Blogger wasn't letting me post anything. Lame.
So pretend this was 2 months ago :)

My life is quite different now.

I’ve decided that I don’t really like change.

I like to find my place, find my people, and then settle down there…. maybe forever :)

But, for better or for worse, life is not usually like that.

. . . . .

By my senior year of high school, I had found that spot in life.
I was busy with Yearbook deadlines, choir trips, play rehearsals, and wandering the high school halls.
I was comfortable with my friends and who I was. I loved high school.

When I began college, I had a little bit of a rough start.
Someone (who will remain anonymous) offered her words of wisdom to me,
and I am so glad that she did because I have reflected on them several times throughout my life.

She told me: “You don’t like college because you liked high school.”
She continued, “It’s true! You either get to like high school, or college. You liked high school, so you’re not going to like college.
That’s just how it goes.”

My first thought was, “Well why didn’t someone tell me this before I decided to like High School!
I think I would have rather liked college, and now I will never get the chance!”

Then, my ever-logical brain kicked in. Why can’t I enjoy high school and college? Is it so crazy to believe that you can enjoy two parts of your life?
Yes, they were different, but I was sure there could be good in both.

Thankfully, I realized this was some pretty bad advice.
I’m glad that she said it though, because I decided right then and there that I would always enjoy whatever stage of life I was in.

Like the seasons, each has something unique to offer, but all are beautiful.

. . . . .

I grew to love college! I had my place and my people who were like my second family. I had experiences that made me stretch and grow as a person.
I organized activities, went to concerts, had prank wars, made toilet bombs, and traveled around Europe.
It was even better than high school!

As graduation came closer, I started to panic.
I was losing my place. I was losing my people! I didn’t want things to change!
My life would never be this good again.

And then I remembered that bad advice…. And I remembered how stupid it was.
I thought, “Allison, your life is going to be different, yes. But your life can still be good.”

. . . . .

So, I moved to Logan.
That was a hard transition.

My 23^rd Birthday was a few months after I moved there, and it was the worst ever.
I was nowhere near where I always thought I would be when I turned 23. I was supposed to be an “adult” and I had no idea what was going on!
I was struggling to find direction and purpose in my life.

I had no place. I had no people.

But I held onto the thought that it could still be good. I worked hard for that good.

Again, I found a new place, and a new second family. I grew in ways that I would not have been able to otherwise.
I loved meeting new people, potluck, movie nights, game nights, impulsive adventures, Murder In The Dark, and talking with roommates until 2am.
I loved this stage of my life! It was the best!

And then I got engaged.

. . . . .

Don't get me wrong, I wanted to get married! But it was change.
And the biggest change that I had yet to experience!

I remember one night, sitting in the car and crying to Clayson.
I loved living with roommates! Who would help me put together an outfit for church?

Again, I heard those stupid words going through my head.

I didn’t have to choose between my single life and married life. This was just a new season.
Both could be good! Different, yes, but soo good.

. . . . .

I settled into married life.

I love spending every day with Clayson! We made dinner together, took walks, weekend trips, and watched the Jazz play basketball.
He has even gotten pretty good at helping me with my Sunday outfits!
Life was perfect!

I loved going to work. It was my place and they were my people.
We had inside jokes, went to lunch, flew to Denver, and had girls days.
I loved it!

And then I found out I was pregnant.

. . . . .

Like marriage, this is a happy change, but it is change.

I have always wanted to stay home and raise my children.
I have never questioned that, and we have been blessed to be in a situation where my dream could come true!

But, I suddenly wasn’t sure if I was ready for that.

The idea of being solely responsible for the life of a tiny human was fine.
But, not working? That was scary!

I had been working for so long that I couldn’t imagine my life without it anymore. It sounded so boring just to stay home all day!
What would I do with myself? Who would I talk to? I need human interaction!
I can’t just talk to a baby all day!

And then the thought came: “It will be different, but oh so good!”

. . . . .

That change came September 30, 2015 and I am so grateful that he did!

I now spend my days talking to a baby – Telling him our plans for the day, making deals with him if he will sleep, and celebrating when he rolls over, takes a spoonful of rice cereal, or I am able to suck a particularly large booger from my sons nose.

I love it!

Yes – Sometimes I miss work. Sometimes I miss my roommates. Sometimes I miss college.

But, I would never change where I am at for anything.

. . . . .

I can honestly say that I have loved every stage of my life.

And if, at any point in my life, you would have asked me which stage was the best? I would honestly have said whatever stage I was currently in.
It doesn’t mean that any time was better or worse, just different. And all good.

I am blessed to still be in contact with all my “second families” and to relive those moments on occasion.
They have helped to mold me into who I am today.

Each stage was perfect for me at that time.

The seasons of my life will continue to change, each fading into the next. I’m sure I will be stretched, pushed, pulled, and tested – and it will be beautiful. Although it is hard for me to imagine at the moment, I am sure I will grow to love each new season just as much, and even more!

Life doesn't stay the same forever.
And I am learning that it is a good thing.

. . . . .

But today, I don’t want to wander the high school halls, have a prank war, or explain insurance benefits.