sorry, I know I already posted today, but I just found this and it is something I have been struggling with for a long time, but particularly this semester.
my conclusion? Girls can be "just friends", but guys cannot. Because of this, it ultimately makes it impossible for guys and girls to be friends. It never turns out good! (at least for me)
I should have listened to Tyler Shotwell when we first had this discussion years ago. My life would be so much simpler!
:)
ReplyDeleteI think your conclusion is wrong though. All (or they made it seem like all) the girls admitted that the guys were interested in them.
So did these girls think that it was okay their "friends" were sexually interested in them?
Or...
People just use the term friend incorrectly, girls being more incorrect in their usage than guys.
Basically...I just wanted to spin your conclusion so men sound better. I don't think we are pigs, just honest.
umm..... disagree?
ReplyDelete1. you didn't actually contradict anything I said. I'm a little confused by that., and I'm pretty sure we agree.
2. none of the girls had interest in the guys, therefore, they are capable of being friends. It's the guys problem that makes it not possible.
3. I don't think men are pigs and did not suggest that in any way. going back to number 2, why can't the girls be honest as well?
4. no one shares your definition of "friend"
Number 4 is the only one that matters.
ReplyDeleteOne day I will control Websters dictionary, then we will see who has the last laugh.
I don't think this video is fair. I mean, are you telling me that men and women answered perfectly along gender lines and there weren't any anomalies? This guy is making conclusions about a world of men and women based on an afternoon interviewing co-eds at a university library in Logan, Utah? My guess is that it was edited in a way to make a point they already knew they were going to make, throwing away answers that would complicate the results.
ReplyDeleteBut to respond to this post, there are a lot of attractive girls with whom I am just friends and don't have any interest. (I note that they are attractive to point out that I'm not referring to situations where you aren't attracted and are therefore just friends.)
I think it's also important to note that the fact most men would "hook up" with a girl doesn't mean they are secretly fawning for a lifelong relationship as the video is implying. Also, the video doesn't ever ask women if they have a guy friend they'd hook up with if given the chance. I'm guessing a lot of girls would answer in the same way. Did you notice how they didn't interview any unattractive girls? How about interviewing attractive guys and asking if any of their girl friends would hook up if given the chance.
I think it comes down to the individual male. I think every guy gets hormonal swells and has moments where he thinks, "Wow, my friend looks very attractive today." (Maybe women do too, but I can't speak from their experience.) However, acknowledging a moment of physical attractiveness is different than secretly plotting to date someone and using your friendship as a starting point to get there. That's why we have self control. If I were the kind of guy who hooked up whenever he got the chance, then I can say there would be a lot of my friends I find attractive at times and would go for. However, I'm not that guy. I understand the emotional weight behind those actions (and the headaches when you pretend the weight doesn't matter and go for it anyway), and so even though I find some of my friends physically attractive, I know I only want to be friends with them and don't let myself get carried away in romantic fantasies.
Really, of all of the attractive friends I have, I'm not trying to date any of them. I'm just pursuing friendship because friendships are rewarding in themselves.
(Unless this post means women don't feel the same thing. Do women never see their male friends as very attractive at times? Or do women categorize people right away and then maintain those categories throughout the relationship with their male friend? Is any of this making sense?)
That didn't feel so long when I wrote it.
ReplyDeleteWow! I really did not mean for this to be an argumentative post!
ReplyDeleteMatt - I think this is when you need your blog back :)
obviously girls are also attracted to their guy friends...... I just tried to explain, but I don't have the energy at the moment. This can be a good conversation for the next time we see each other.
this is MY blog, and speaking from MY experience, this movie is true. I am not trying to speak for the world, and if I was this would be a stupid place to accomplish that seeing as only about 5 people know this blog exists. Not even all my family knows about this blog.
main point: MY blog, MY experience. you can't argue with that.
HA!
:)
Yeah wrong conclusion...but funny story!
ReplyDeletehow is the fact that this is my blog about my experiences wrong?
ReplyDeleteFirst off, I would just like to point out that I live in that library. Second off, I loved that video. Third, because I live in that library, I'm too tired to decide what I really think...but I'm enjoying all of your bantering, and I think you should continue. Thank you. :)
ReplyDeleteKatelyn - I'm glad that you enjoyed it.
ReplyDeleteDON'T continue bantering.
Okay, we can continue this in person maybe someday. (This is why I had no idea you liked arguing, btw!)
ReplyDelete